we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't deserve a penis
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
