Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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