Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
