Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
