I feel like abortions should bother me more
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
