Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
