Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
