Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
