true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
