Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
