tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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