I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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