The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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