May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Randomize
