Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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