Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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