oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
