It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
