i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
