He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize