Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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