I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
