No awkward lesbian experiences without me
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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