Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
