I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
