what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
