you guys were way drunker than both of me
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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