so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sobbing to NWA
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
