so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
