Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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