is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
