dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
