Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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