They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
