Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize