I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
