It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
