I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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