your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
