return my video game
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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