yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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