He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So many bounce houses so little time
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
