Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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