Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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