my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He kissed a someone with a penis
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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