they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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