you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
