Plan B is the new Plan A
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
