you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
