p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
