I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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