U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
