I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
