I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
