you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think i got beer on your cat.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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