i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
