I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize