Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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