just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
