After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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